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No I can't say that again. Please join me David." I'd love to. Give me twenty minutes to wash and change and I'll be right round." You can have a shower here if you want, then I can sneak in and get an eyeful of that sexy bum of yours." And where do you suppose that would end?" I am only concerned where your end would end." Ann be careful. One day soon I shall challenge you to put up or shut up." No Darling, you have that wrong. You are the one who will put up, I will be your willing receptacle." There's no answer to that, so I simply said."See you in twenty."I cannot recall what the meal was. All I could see was Ann, who was so happy to have cooked a meal for her man. Well that's what she explained later. All I knew that it was a delight to sit here with the woman I had known all those years ago. Then like Saul's conversion the light sudden hit me. I loved Ann. That I had loved her for years. Not just fantasised about but loved. So I said it."Ann. I love you." She stopped eating,. I desperately wanted, what I have come to realize was almost totally absent in my childhood, a loving family. I was slow to mature. Even with my extensive experience in the military, living on the edge and exploring the world, I was still walking around with my mouth hanging open, so to speak. By the time I was in my middle twenties I think I was still emotionally and socially a teen in my ability to handle my own life.Looking back it was really amazing. I had no qualms about dropping the hammer on a human target and had done so. I not only survived; I functioned at a high level of efficiency in an often very dangerous environment. With all of that, I still could not made a clear decision about myself. I still had no direction other than that handed to me by military order. If I were asked where I wanted to be in five years or what my goals were I could not answer, I could only guess. My plans were restricted to the military regulations regarding time in grade etc needed for.
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